The Onion: Final Week Of Heyday

Area Man Down To Final Week Of Heyday
The Onion, 3/14

"I really think Tracy and I might have a future together," Koning said of 27-year-old Tracy Krupman, whom he will soon marry on an emotional whim, and toward whom he will become incresingly embittered and even hateful over the next decade. "We have a real connection, and I think our best times are yet to come."

"And I'm really starting to settle into Chicago," continued Koning, who in three months will be forced to move to Tacoma, WA in order to care for Krupman's ailing father. "I can totally see myself becoming one of those 'Chicago guys' who lives here for the rest of his life. I love it out here."

While evidence suggests that Koning could conceivably prolong his life's pinnacle for another one or two years by leaving Krupman and following his dream of opening a trading cards and collectibles shop, the likelihood of this ever occurring is thought to be incredibly small.

Koning, who currently fills his weekends with volunteer work, regular exercise, and recreational travel, will reportedly soon be granted a minor promotion that will demand all of his free time without providing any additional satisfaction. He is then expected to begin a gradual slide into unfulfilling 60-hour work weeks highlighted by the occasional halfway decent nap.

The Onion: Husband-Wife Comedy Team

Husband, Wife Unaware They Are A Comedy Team

The Onion, 3/7

GLENDALE, AZ—With their hilarious put-downs of each other and classic back-and-forth bickering in front of neighbors, local married couple David and Sheila Holt are quietly becoming one of Glendale's favorite comedy teams, sources reported Monday.


Though David and Sheila remain unaware of their comedy duo status, friends and family members maintain that the couple's uproarious act, including their famous "It's all your fault—this whole stupid mess is your goddamn fault" routine, is more than enough reason to check them out.

L.A. Times: Shaming Johns

This looks like another variation of the "scared straight" scams that are shown not to change impulsive behavior....

Shaming and scaring johns into becoming average joes
(Los Angeles Times, 2/26)

At first glance, it seems these schools shouldn't work, said Michael Shively, a researcher who recently completed the first comprehensive study of the San Francisco program for the National Institute of Justice. The one-day, throw-everything-at-them-and-see-what-sticks approach, he said, lacks the intense, targeted and longer-term therapy that is generally thought to be needed to change a person's behavior.

Indications are, however, that the classes are a relatively cheap and effective carrot to dangle in front of johns. California prostitution arrest records, Shively's team found, show that recidivism rates among San Francisco men dropped 30% in the decade following the launch of their john school. A newer program in San Diego posted similar results, he found.

I am skeptical of this statistic because a lot of things can change in 10 years. It depends on there being a credible control group (similar offenders assigned to a non-treatment social group). There is often a benefit in giving people attention of any kind, but the "scared straight" component is usually ineffective.

See my essays, Words Don't Work and Things You Don't Need: Addiction Treatment.

Blog: The Other US Airways Flight Crew Member

I didn't see any of the US Airways TV interviews, but this is amusing...

Captain Sully is First Class - Doreen? Maybe not so much...
(San Francisco Chronicle Culture Blog, 2/18)

Each crew member calmly and professionally related their experience to Katie. As I watched, I was amazed and impressed by their composure and humility. Someone book me a flight on US Airways! These people are saints!

Then Katie got to Doreen, apparently working the rear of the aircraft where everything was "violent" and "horrible." The other flight attendants spoke of stoic yet swift evacuation. Not Doreen. "Coffee pots were floating!" and my favorite line of the interview, "I just went crazy and started yelling at people and pushing people."

The camera cuts to the rest of the crew, all of whom, and this is probably just me, seem to be thinking, "Oh Lord, here we go again."

Given what flight attendants are paid and the low quality it attracts, US Airways was lucky that rest of them were composed.

L.A. Times: Iceland is Steamed

Iceland is steamed
Its economic meltdown, and the violent reaction of its people, may be echoed worldwide.
(Los Angeles Times, 2/8)

By the mid-1990s, Iceland had, through dicey finance and lots of debt, launched its journey to becoming one of the world's most affluent societies. Fortune continues: "But the principal fuel for Iceland's boom was finance and, above all, leverage. The country became a giant hedge fund, and once-restrained Icelandic households amassed debts exceeding 220% of disposable income -- almost twice the proportion of American consumers."...

"It's official: capitalism is monstrous. Try talking about the benefits of free markets and you will be treated like someone promoting the benefits of rape."

USA Today: Facebook Friends Share "25 Things"

Facebook friends share '25 Things' with the world
(USA Today, 2/5)

Hey, I done that. I see it as the point where Facebook came of age as a unique community.

Web Tools: Cool Background Image

This web page from some kind of gaming site has a really cool background image. I might use it someday!

The Vagabond Guide